Commandments 41-50
51. YOU ARE AT THE MERCY OF YOUR BASSIST'S URGES
It's a small environment. It doesn't take much to pollute the emosystem.
While you're setting up, say, at an instore, where people will be milling around freely nearby, you may bend down and unwittingly reveal a large portion of your arse. Just thought you ought to know.
53. NOW IS THE TIME TO EXPERIMENT WITH FACIAL HAIR
I grew a beard.
We seem to be chasing the summer around. In Britain, the longest recorded heatwave was probably one afternoon in 1987. Where we've been it's been summer every single day, all day long. I don't have enough shorts for this kind of existence.
56. IT IS EASIER FOR A CAMEL TO PASS THROUGH THE EYE OF THE NEEDLE THAN FOR EIGHT ADULTS TO BE READY TO LEAVE AT THE SAME TIME
At least groups of children don't suddenly decide they need to change their shoes/ watch the end of Seinfeld/ climax. Plus you can shout at children and this can have an effect.
57. FLY THE FLAGS AT HALF-ASSED
Fuck, it's hard, when you're on tour, to do anyghin propoghleee.
58. BEN HALES IS *INTENTIONALLY DELETED*
59. WEEK 5: INCREASED RISK OF SCURVEY
If you discover that your teeth are rotting out of your head and your skin is a maggoty mass of lesions, one solution is to switch to Mexican beer, which is served with a slice of lime.
60. FARTING IS A VIABLE FORM OF COMMUNICATION (SEE 42)
Try it for yourself. A particularly effective way of saying "No".
