Commandments 1-10
11. THESE PEOPLE ARE NOT YOUR FRIENDS
12. TRY TO SIGN THE NIPPLE AREA
13. ALWAYS SPEAK COURTEOUSLY TO THE DRIVER
He is probably armed.
15. DO NOT LEAP FROM YOUR BUNK YELLING "SHIT, FUCK, NO NO NO!"
Dan contributed this, so I'm sure he wouldn't mind me explaining that he occasionally suffers from night terrors, or vivid nightmares of impending doom.
This is exacerbated by the coffin-ish environment of the bunk, leading to awesome displays of in-dream heroism, which in real life manifest themselves as unprompted screaming attacks and full-throttle leaping down the hallway.
16. AS ABOVE, ESPECIALLY DURING BORDER CROSSINGS
17. THERE IS ALWAYS AN APPROPRIATE QUOTE FROM SPINAL TAP. HELLO CLEVELAND.
Spinal Tap is so true that it is no longer funny to watch. We even have a replacement drummer.
18. YOU DO NOT HAVE A SPIRITUAL CONNECTION WITH A BARMAID
It is her job to serve you drinks. She may be of a friendly disposition. You shouldn't read more into it than that.
19. MERELY HAVING A BRITISH ACCENT DOES NOT CONFER 'WIT' UPON EVERYTHING YOU SAY
This doesn't apply to me of course. Everything I say is hilarious, regardless of my accent [see 58]
20. YOU ARE RARELY TRYING YOUR BEST
